Blessings of life

It was home time at school.

As child, we used to gather local children and walked to primary school in groups in the morning. On the way home, we travelled in smaller groups; basically whomever available to tag together, making sure that no body was left behind. We learned to look out for one another like that from such young age, just as a part of everyday life.

I was about to leave the school building with two other children that afternoon, both boys from the same grade. We got on well and we often walked together and played together.

So we were changing into outside shoes from what we wore inside through the day while at school. We each had a shoe locker, and I bent over to tend to my shoes when….I saw the boys run past behind me fast and one of them swooped my hat away from my head….the beginning of another scramble.

I was never a champion but I could run fast if I was chasing somebody. So off I went, screaming and shouting all I wanted like any other time. But then I had two boys who knew me well running ahead of me and split left and right, and I seriously did not know which one to chase.

Just on the corner of my eyes,  I could see somebody come out of the teachers room. Sh#t, I thought. I bet they saw me doing something completely un-ladylike. I turned my head to see who the moving figure was and swallowed.

It was the headmaster.

I straightened my back immediately, but it was too late. I saw the man reach for something with one hand and wave me over with another. I decided it was a smart idea to surrender, so I approached, trying to look as innocent as possible.

The headmaster looked at me. And before I could open my mouth to say anything, he waved me over again to approach closer. The headmaster could not possible hit me, I thought. But will he?

Of course he did not hit me. But he did something that would remain for the rest of my life.

He was on one knee, tying his shoelaces, and from this eye hight looked straight into my eyes. And he said, “You are going to be something quite remarkable. I know it.” I was dumb struck. He was supposed to tell me off. I was sure of it. And before I could open my mouth, or remotely recover from the shock, he told me to go home.

I remember saying “good bye schoolmaster” like a well mannered child. And I walked towards my friends who handed my hat back immediately. They thought I was in trouble too.  They thought they behaved like cowards, for not coming after me to receive the punishment together. They asked me. “What did he tell you?”

I looked at my friends and said. “The headmaster told me that I am lucky to have good friends.”

“Is that all?,” my friends asked.  I said yes, and we walked home just like any other day.

Many years later.

I went through my life’s ups and downs like everybody else who lived. And I remember. Even though I don’t always refer to the headmaster, I am affirmed that I would get through whatever the difficulties comes along. Because I know that one day, I am going to be something quite remarkable. I just haven’t got there yet.

It reminds me how, such small moment of blessings could change a child’s outlook for the rest of her life. What a blessing it was.

Windy oak trees.

Being around people with conservation in mind means a lot. One, I don’t feel like the only one that cares. Two, you see a lot of odd behaviours- like collecting seeds from trees and storing in unexpected places- like a fridge!

So I was cleaning this fridge, and I found this bag full of ……something, germinating in fridge temperature. Whomever collected these had a good plan for them so he placed in fridge ‘for the time being,’ and he left the property soon after; that’s at least 8 months ago. Nobody wanted to throw these away until I got hold of the bag. I was fully intending to place them in rubbish as soon as I checked with everyone; once I ensured those were not a part of somebody’s on-going project.

IMG_2776.JPGThis bag full of ‘germinating something’ turned out to be baby oak trees,
“oh! those acorns what name collected at such and such time!” and nobody claimed them. So I took them home and planted them in soil. I suddenly had 10 pots of very sad looking young trees, which looked indeed quite lifeless.
Now that I separated the jumble into pots, plants looked bare, dry and weak; I took pictures of them but I felt like they were not supposed to leave the scene. That was back on the 14th of June, beginning of the winter in Southern Hemisphere.

Well, I left the pots in shade for a little while then moved them by the window, where filtered sun was available during the day. I watered them. I cut a few tips of the plant were I could tell were certainly dead, but I left the rest be. I was not very hopeful, and I was only giving them one last chance before throwing them in rubbish. ‘A couple of weeks’, I thought. But I left them longer since they were not noisy- they didn’t bother me for taking up a mere square meter of my apartment.

Then these little lumps started to appear.


And lumps became shoots, growing into leaves. I saw life coming back into the plants, even on parts where I saw no hopeful lumps growing just yet.

IMG_2895.JPG   IMG_2891.JPG

It has been almost two months, and I suspect I now have a little nursery at home. The pace they are growing, at least in parts, tells me that these are TREES that will one day be taller than the roof of my apartment. Not only that they won’t fit in pots forever, and I have a number of them, they all look seriously screwed and all over the place; not something I can just gift to people. So well, since I am stuck with them, I suppose I will continue watering them. They grow straight into the light, though…. no matter how windy they appear, the new shoots are growing straight into the sky.

Guess what, I might need a bit of land in a few years time. 😉






I have done many things I was not supposed to in my life. I also did not do a lot of things I was supposed to.

I passed an exam I was not supposed to, and entered a school to study with a very competitive group of people. Everyone in the school, after 6 years, was supposed to go to university, and I did not go to university. I was not supposed to be able to manage myself overseas as a young 18 years old but I somehow did. I was not supposed to become a stunt actor but guess what I did. I was supposed to smile and nod and say yes to everything, but I learned to argue. I was supposed to be married to a highly educated man, but I made a decision never to get married. I was expected to love children, but I only found myself turn corners sharp to avoid meeting children. I was supposed to be confident but I lost interest. I was supposed to be oppressed but I learned to confront.

Each time I did something I was not expected to do, I grew. The more I did not do what I was supposed to do, I evolved. Metamorphosis only led to deformity at times, but it intrigues me how I never turned evil. I met some seriously crooked people along the way, but something always dragged me away from the scene, just in time. I do not know what it was. I feel it was the same thing as that which told me to go against the stream time and time again- something that told me to leave work and travel immediately after a promotion. It told me at times, it was fine to go along with the flow no matter how hard I had to work for. I’ve listened and followed many times as it was irresistible not to. Every time I thought I planned my future, I was tempted to leave. And so I happily followed the lead of I had the slightest idea what, or I just followed my nose to locate the next pot of luck. It might appear irresponsible. But I did grow responsible enough to follow my own path.


I don’t care for marriage. I am interested in the topic only enough to have considered and decided that I will not bother. Marriage was something I grew up ‘knowing’ that all adult human must do, and that I was relieved when I found another option in my youth- to be seen as a broken instrument by the majority and to continuously hear that question ‘did you have bad experience? from those ‘caring’ people through out my life- but at least I am in dignity with my soul, and that has been enough for me. I have trained myself to be strong enough to stand on my own feet, which according to many, something I should not be able to do. Sure it is tough at times just like anybody else’s life, but it is still easier than having to act incapable in order to satisfy a man’s ego.

Marriage equality has been a topic in Australia and many other places around the globe. It puzzles and confuses me. Here I am, having worked so hard to not marry while living in a society which makes unmarried women wrong. So when two adults who are in love and committed to each other do decide to file marriage, how could that then be wrong (and illegal! ) too, because they carry the same set of reproductive organs? You would be wronged by majority if you don’t marry, but you would still be wronged unless you marry a group of people who are approved by a minority of the society- and that never seem to make sense to me.

To me, there is a part of marriage which is and derives from custom, culture, and tradition- the same reason why Japan engage in Whaling, and that they permit culling of dolphins to this day. You marry, because we always have; that’s how and what it is to become an adult- not something you should even question. And there is this other part of marriage, whether formal or informal, which turns you magnetically attracted to another and keeps you giggly and fluffy for how long ever it lasts. People become so happy it is almost annoying to spend time with a friend in that state- though you congratulate their relationships because you celebrate joy too. And some of those people will decide to sign a piece of paper to promise each other that they will share their asset and responsibilities as well as love. We are supposed to use textbooks as our tools. When books take over our life, we always have innocent people who are made wrong.

Marriage equality debate, to me, is a given opportunity for all of us to stop and think about our own relationships. Am I with a person who I truly care about? Do I really know what love is? Because, if you knew the love I refer to, you could not possibly oppose same sex marriage. Love belong to that part of life where you cannot logistically control per human convenience. Trying to govern another’s love is probably as meaningless as trying to find a way to stop a compass from pointing north/ south. We should teach people what it is to love another soul if we want to see a peaceful world, because there is not a lot of people out there who can manage giggly and violent all in a sentence. We will hopefuly always have the rights not to marry, but I suspect that love from your heart cannot be and should never be questioned or prohibited by law.

Magic and Joy.

Magic of living after feudal system is this. That we are living alongside our kings and queens that we once served before, that they walk on the same ground as we do, dirtying their hands and feet, appreciating having hot water on a cold night, and that they need to eat and drink to sustain just like we do. It is not that those things make people more or less, nor us. But we realise that what we once envied is a part of us and that we were made of the same materials as those important people all the way along.

Struggle of living in a capitalist society after feudalism is this. That now we live among and alongside those previously important people, and became aware that they were not so different to any of us after all, we have created another kind of important people whom, often by the mere number of figures written on a piece of paper, seem to have attained power to right or wrong everyone else’s life.

Insanity of living according to the new lot of important people is this. That we became used to selling and buying those things that does not even exist yet, in the words of investment and future. What does exist before us, instead, is often overlooked in process of achievement, so people are found lost or swimming in the air, trying to cling to a sign of hope- while others are busy scattering to avoid being clung to.

Joy of being the odd ones in such new world is this. That we come across others who can see the struggles and insanity just like we can, those of whom is more than aware that we don’t have to live like that, and to realise that there is more of us than we initially accepted. We are the brick layers of the Light, who uses bricks that are real, and that can be laid using our own hands and knees. We can lay down roads and buildings, or we can build a raised garden bed. We can just sit and admire a brick. We have no need to prove ourselves. There is no need for a credit. We always have enough. And we are somewhat grateful, even in the middle of the Winter.