Marriage

I don’t care for marriage. I am interested in the topic only enough to have considered and decided that I will not bother. Marriage was something I grew up ‘knowing’ that all adult human must do, and that I was relieved when I found another option in my youth- to be seen as a broken instrument by the majority and to continuously hear that question ‘did you have bad experience? from those ‘caring’ people through out my life- but at least I am in dignity with my soul, and that has been enough for me. I have trained myself to be strong enough to stand on my own feet, which according to many, something I should not be able to do. Sure it is tough at times just like anybody else’s life, but it is still easier than having to act incapable in order to satisfy a man’s ego.

Marriage equality has been a topic in Australia and many other places around the globe. It puzzles and confuses me. Here I am, having worked so hard to not marry while living in a society which makes unmarried women wrong. So when two adults who are in love and committed to each other do decide to file marriage, how could that then be wrong (and illegal! ) too, because they carry the same set of reproductive organs? You would be wronged by majority if you don’t marry, but you would still be wronged unless you marry a group of people who are approved by a minority of the society- and that never seem to make sense to me.

To me, there is a part of marriage which is and derives from custom, culture, and tradition- the same reason why Japan engage in Whaling, and that they permit culling of dolphins to this day. You marry, because we always have; that’s how and what it is to become an adult- not something you should even question. And there is this other part of marriage, whether formal or informal, which turns you magnetically attracted to another and keeps you giggly and fluffy for how long ever it lasts. People become so happy it is almost annoying to spend time with a friend in that state- though you congratulate their relationships because you celebrate joy too. And some of those people will decide to sign a piece of paper to promise each other that they will share their asset and responsibilities as well as love. We are supposed to use textbooks as our tools. When books take over our life, we always have innocent people who are made wrong.

Marriage equality debate, to me, is a given opportunity for all of us to stop and think about our own relationships. Am I with a person who I truly care about? Do I really know what love is? Because, if you knew the love I refer to, you could not possibly oppose same sex marriage. Love belong to that part of life where you cannot logistically control per human convenience. Trying to govern another’s love is probably as meaningless as trying to find a way to stop a compass from pointing north/ south. We should teach people what it is to love another soul if we want to see a peaceful world, because there is not a lot of people out there who can manage giggly and violent all in a sentence. We will hopefuly always have the rights not to marry, but I suspect that love from your heart cannot be and should never be questioned or prohibited by law.

Author: Maiko Natsukawa

Born in Japan. Has lived in 4 countries, resided in Australia since 2004. Former stunt actor. Trade qualification. Equestrian sports. Advocate for equality and sustainable living.

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