Forgiveness once again.

Forgivenes it is.

Corresponding post here.

May be I just don’t agree with the general idea of ‘forgiveness’ that is out there. Or may be I am such a know it all, and I just think that I can describe it better….whatever message I am trying to convey.

Some say that forgiveness is about letting go.

Some say it is about laying down the burden to have more light in life.

Some explain that it is not about saying it is ok that things happened, but forgiveness is about making a decision to no longer be drugged down by your unpleasant experience.

“Forgiveness gives you wings” is a line from Dr Robert Holden. He teaches that it is about setting yourself free.

There are phrases like ‘forgive and forget.’

And people say that you must first forgive yourself, and then you can forgive another.

And then I hear myself say, there is more to it.

If forgiveness was all about leaving the unpleasant behind and begin looking for more beauty in life, you will never learn anything. There are people who do wrong things, and you will always find one or two of those wherever you go in life. No matter how far you travel, you will always find the unpleasant catch up. And if you keep smiling and moving away from it, you will probably have a very restless life.

If forgiveness was about understanding the wrong and unconditionally accepting them as a part of life, what is wrong will find its own place and keep feeding off your supply. You just taught the wrong-doer that it is ok to behave like that.

If you forgive and forget, then you will most probably walk into the same problem again in the future. You can’t just forget about it.

If you understand the situation in which something had gone wrong, it makes just one of you. The source of the problem is so often oblivious to your injury and guess what, the problem will repeat.

In the process of forgiveness, you need to be heard that ‘it hurt’. You need to say ‘never again’. You need to know what it was that had hurt you. You need to know if it was a genuine mistake or the one that was only waiting to happen. You need to draw a line. If you have not yet learned to draw a line, then you can start learning right there. And every now and then, you realise that it is a group of wrongs not an individual standing in your way. If that ever happens, you just shoot out a few curse words and get ready to draw a more visible line; thicker, brighter and possibly with a hint of purple in it.

Forgiveness does not turn your back to your enemy. It is the power that glows out of your gut, so strong that you can square at your enemy and make him shrink to bits. You don’t need to raise your arm. You just need to go get yourself together.

Forgiveness is something that teaches you strength. It is not about some fancy weapons you carry, but the real strength as a person and what is in your core. You often see such strength through another’s eyes, or it sometimes look like they are walking around wearing a layer of bright light. People will talk whatever they will, but they can no longer mess with you in your face. And when you realise that your bully has turned into a mere coward, you are no longer the injured. Sometimes it is on the other side of an emotion. Some of us need to get angry enough to say the magic word, ‘enough’. Some of us need to feel the sadness to find a ground. However it may come, on the other side of the storm, there it is; the stillness where you are not fearful nor afraid.

What is missing in a scene of injury is so often that each person has forgotten that the other is also a living creature. The oppressor does not remember that the other person has his own life, belief, dream, and an ability to get hurt. The injured did not remember that his opponent is also an imperfect human and so he too has a moment, sometime a very loooooong moment, of wrong; which could very well go for the rest of his life.

We are so often living our life in some kind of automatic mode or another. We have our eyes open and we can see, but we are not really looking. We can hear but we are not listening. We sense that something is out of order but we have learned to not take care of such small things; because we are busy and committed to ‘succeed’.

But here is a slightly brighter side to it. When we are living in the moment, we recognise others that are not.

I don’t think many of us can harm another while being in the moment. It just doesn’t happen. You can almost literally see a life in another when you are well dignified within. And that life is the same as what is in you. Human or not, all living creatures have a life each, and that is just how it is.

If we managed to figured out how to get the oppressors to experience what is really in front of them, I optimistically suspect that we will eliminate crimes. Theory is always the easiest part. And I don’t have a slightest clue as in how this is supposed to happen. But the thing is, we each can chose to spend more of our time with mindfulness. A peaceful heart does affect another at the level of electromagnetic field. And if we could each influence just one person a day with our peace, somethings may change, just may be.

What is Reiki (1) – basic information

This is the first of the series of Reiki posts. The purpose of this is to share some information about Reiki.

The word reiki has become somewhat known term in many countries in recent years. And I think it might be useful to write a little about what Reiki is.

Reiki is a Japanese word, structured with 2 Chinese characters. What it translates is, the “Universal Life Force Energy”, and Reiki also refers to the healing practice itself; the system of Reiki.

In the recent years, the word Reiki is widely used as a representation of many other energy healing practices. But what I am referring to here is the Usui system of Reiki. This is the teaching which originate from Mikao Usui. To me, Reiki is a system of healing techniques, which result from avid spiritual practices.

When I refer to spiritual practice, I am talking about spirituality before religions. Reiki, to my understanding, is something that does not come into conflict with any religious practices. And it is also important to note that practitioners of Reiki does not introduce ourselves as the healers. We do not heal you, though the experience of which might help. And the understanding is that we as practitioners are merely a channel or the medium who create an environment; in which environment, you learn to heal yourself.

The Usui system of Reiki is well documented. There are Japanese lineages, which are unbroken lines from Mikao Usui, And there is Western Reiki, which is much known as Reiki around the world. A part of Western Reiki practice has merged with New Age practice somewhere along the way. And I will write a little more about this somewhere in the series.

Podcast: click here

To join our weekly distance healing: visit Distance Healing and Prayers here 

Thank you.

Equality

Many of us think that gender equality is about empowering women.

I agree that it may be a part of it, and I agree that women are currently ranked lower than men on many levels. But I personally believe it is not only about lifting women.

I believe that gender equality will give men freedom as much as it would women.


I am a woman. Apparently. I just don’t think of my gender or sex regularly enough except when I am reminded from time to time. And I somehow get a rude shock every time somebody reminds me.

I am also a Japanese woman, which belongs to a group of Asian women; to which Australia has an unfortunate reputation in parts that there are Australian men, who are incapable of building relationship with Australian woman, visiting Asian countries to choose their bride and to bring back to Australia. Some of the Asian countries are financially scarce that they simply can’t say no to a “better” life in Australia proposed by a “nice” man. I struggle to agree with the concept that such relationship are immediately acknowledged as marriage while it is illegal for gay couples to marry after a 15 years of loyal relationship. But that is another issue. Asian women are known to be hard working, brought up to find gratitude in anything, and also say yes to everything. A lot of these Asian brides do not have enough language skills to argue, so the men usually gets their way. And unless I opened my mouth, ( and I emphasise this with a broad grin), I am usually and automatically grouped with this category of people.

I am a small woman, who most people can physically look down upon. It is just unfortunate that people miscalculate another’s abilities by their appearance, but it must be like that they are talking to me from a hight of a podium all of the time. I can mildly understand the confusion after a length of time that they begin to think they are supposed to be more important than me.

I am a single woman. Most people in this world think there is something wrong with women who choose to take care of themselves. In fact, in a therapy training I attended in the last few years, with a government accredited training provider in Australia, people assumed there had to be something wrong with me for being unmarried. And I walked away from them with false memory they planted that I had a terrible childhood which un-abled me to build intimate relationships. I actually originate from a privileged background; but it took me 2 years+ to remember who I was. And that was the punishment I received for being a single woman. It turns out that in this country, it is not regulated to create such disturbance in another in order to interfere with one’s sexual orientation or preference of life. It appears that many people believe a single female has to be lonely, where single male are often considered lucky and even free. I share my life with 70 something trillion cells in my body, and I don’t see how that has to be considered ‘alone’.

I am a migrant. I have only gained a permanent residency in this country after 8 years+ of gradual process. I don’t  have a voting right yet, and many other rights Australian people take for granted.

I do not have a Tertiary qualification. I was lined up for it at the ‘right’ age and I would have studied at least 4 years to achieve whatever I was going for. I chose to walked away. And I wound’t have it another way.

When you see me in a mirror, you see a figure of minority.

You ‘know’ that anybody can do better than me.


And then, if this was a theatrical act, a scene change happens. Background change.

I am somebody who trained and performed as a professional stunt actor, among many other things; I have trade qualification, I learned to ski by watching Youtube videos, I speak two language at the level I can argue my position to the heart content. I have some wicked financial management skills and an ability live a happy life with the amount of asset that would probably cause panic attack in a lot of people in this country.

I know what it is like to jump from the 6th floor of a building. I trained to do that as a part of my work. I had completed a day’s training with a broken bone. I have worked with a dislocated joint. I fell off a horse because a script said so. I rolled down a staircase, and this, I only found out hours before the act. I can abseil down from a roof and enter a building from the balcony. I was involved in some forms of martial art for some years. We swam in the river when there was snow on the side of the stream. I have proven my ability to work around the clock starting from 2am ( bakery), 4am ( race course), 6am ( breakfast shift ), 8am ( riding school ), 10am ( lunch -dinner shift ) 2pm ( dinner shift ) and so it goes. I have worked 17 hours straight to cover a difficult time at a workplace, and this happened while I was normally working 12 hours a day/ 6 days a week, split shift. I finished work at 11pm that night, and started 6am the following day. The day after, I had a day off; so I went skiing.

For those who saw me as a small single Asian woman who does not have a tertiary qualification or own a house BUT SHE CAN COOK, WASH AND CLEAN, they would have lost their words by now. And they know that they cannot add these things up together using their formula; man>woman. And usually, their first response is to make me wrong. And the classic remedy is to try to fix me; either by force or ‘kindness’ which says “women don’t have to live a life like that.”

But the thing is, I am all of above if not more. If you tried to fix it, then you would have ruined it.

If you cannot accept it, then it is your problem.


The thing is, this should not have to be a problem. This can be just another unique human you share this planet with.

It can only be a problem, because you see me as a minor, who can and has done things you would not likely want to do in your life; and that I did not have to be convinced to do these things. I was only following my nose, and these things just came along.

It is only a problem to you if you see me with your belief that I have to be somebody less capable than you. Because then, in that instance of seeing me do more than you, you have named yourself a loser.


It does not have to be like that. And all it takes is to see a person as a person. Not as a woman, different skin colour, background, or anything else.

If we just recognise each person as somebody who has their own path, you don’t need to be ‘better’ than another. None of us should have to argue to legitimise our identity. Equally, wearing brand clothes does not make you more attractive than before. There are better place to spend money than that. Plant some trees.

I honestly believe that gender equality will give men freedom as much as it would women. Think about it. You don’t have to lie to yourself any longer. You know some women will always run faster than you. And you won’t need to block this out of you awareness to call yourself a ‘man’. You can chose to spend time with people who you want to, instead of who you can dominate. And you will see how some men who has been in respectful relationship would already know this.

Gender equality is not a charity. It’s not a trend. It is a revolution where everybody wins. And so it should be.

Let’s go to a local farmers market.

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I like buying my food from the local farmer’s market. I like the idea of buying things from the people who grow them. I like the idea that we know where our money is going. I like the idea that the growers are physically selling the food to live humans.


This is my small protest against the culture that too many of us ( including me until recent time) seem to have become trained to automatically head to the super markets owned by larger corporations.

This is also my realisation that I actually enjoy cooking when I have a range of food I bought with purpose.


Not all food sold at the farmers market are grown organically. Some are certified organic.Some promises that they are grown chemical free. Whatever it is, we are buying food from human-beings. If there is chemical in your food, you know who put it there. If  you put chemical in the food you grow, you know who is going to eat that.


Let peaceful activism be a normal part of your daily life. Take conscious actions. Do one thing you can do for a better future today.

Something about imperfection

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There is a kind of beauty in imperfection. – Conrad Hall

I originate from the country where the word Wabi-Sabi comes from. I long understood the word as something that described the humble beauty; wooden materials that has aged, a ceramic bowl that does not have the thousand colours, and the breeze that comes through a bamboo bush.

Somebody has recently taught me another way to describe Wabi-Sabi. “Appreciating the imperfection,” she said. I liked that. Those odd plates that is gathered in cupboard after many years. Walking down a street with houses that do not look all identical and faultless. Wearing well worn clothes that are clean and well cared for.

I realise that this short conversation with my friend has added a depth to my understanding of the words. Before, I was able to recognise the beauty in the moment. Now I am able to notice the time behind the moment, and the stories that comes with it. And I am liking that a lot.

The best part of beauty is that which no picture can express. – Francis Bacon

Do you have another way to describe what Wabi-Sabi is?

Admiral McRaven

I am one who dreams of a world that is ruled by love and peace. I wish uniforms like this will one day be considered a thing for the show. I wish men like this were not sent to war zones.

But I find the man magnificent in this speech. I found Admiral McRavens’s words inspirational.

 

Start each day with a task completed. Find someone to help you though life. Respect everyone. Know that life is not fair and you will feel often.

But if you take some risks; step up on the times through toughest; facedown the bullies; lift up the down trod; and never, ever, give up – If you do these things, the next generation and the generation that follow will live in a world far better than the one we have today.

And what started here indeed have changed the world for the better.

Admiral McRaven